Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Why it means so much to me....

I guess I've always been an introvert. The world has always seemed like a fascinating place and it still is. Like I feel that childlike wonder when I see a gorgeous Disney movie like 2010's Tangled. Even if they all seem the same, I just love the color and animation in each one. Light and Darkness...just the dichotomy has fascinated me as well. I feel drawn to both of them. We all have a dark side, but most of us choose to stay in the Light. That is how it should be.

Lately, I've come to understand some things. I feel drawn to Buddhism. I've always been curious about Eastern philosophy, mysticism, and Eastern religions. Since brinda, I've come to know more about Buddhism. She once asked me how far I wanted to go into it, I didn't give her a straight answer. And she didn't push. She knew that I wasn't ready and I still am not there yet. But, I have accepted that I am in prison...not a physical prison but a prison build around me by society and by what I've been taught. I feel closed in by what I expect of myself and the reality of what is. There's a disconnect and I can't get free of that. I also am a prisoner of my desires. They prevent me from feeling content and free. You know, always wanting more that we miss the good things in front of us. When I let go, then I can continue the journey.

"Suddenly I see why the hell it means so much to me..."

Another soulful song by KT Tunstall, it calls to me.

Just because I like the video and the lyrics...



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