Saturday, December 08, 2012

Lion for Lalo

Lalo loved furries and he was a furry in SL.

In one of our recent conversations, he spoke about a lion furry avatar from Dark Spot Designs. I saw it, but I thought he'd appreciate it more than me so I didn't buy it. It's one of the nicest looking furries I've ever seen. I have seen a lot.

Last night, I resolved to buy it and  take a photo in it.

I might even go around as a lion for awhile, I don't know.

Anyway, here's me as a male lion.

Me as a male lion furry at Lalo's front door
 The review he sent me is here: http://www.slarf.org/dark-spot-designs-lion/

It's a good furry. It has ear movement, jaw movement, eye movement, animated tail, comes with both a PG & Mature skin.  I chose to wear the PG male skin. But once you rezz the box and click it, you can choose what sex you want to unpack. This is the lion in sand color. There are other colors too, but I liked this color the best.

It doesn't come with an AO, but it's fine. It works fine with my Vista AO.

So um, that's it. And I'll be a  furry lion on the grid for awhile.


Not to leave things left unsaid

I know I haven't blogged much, personally. Oh, I blog plenty about art and creating. But I've learned that there are things that shouldn't be left unsaid, those things that matter and come from the heart.

I will try to break my silence but I associate this blog with brinda. And I would blog here mainly to see her comments to me. I realize that that wouldn't happen again, so I stopped blogged about my personal feelings. It's like when a loved one doesn't hold your hand anymore. It's hard to accept, but I am working on it still.

Yesterday morning, I woke up feeling groggy and sluggish. I had breakfast as usual then went back to my room/office to check email. And an email notification of a new blog post from my friend Alexhayden, sure woke me right up. Alex wrote about a great friend who he respected, loved and had dreamed of meeting in RL. The big shock was that Lalo Telling was checked into a hospice last night. I follow Lalo's blog and tweets, but it was just a shock to realize that the cancer had worsened so badly. I knew the cancer was in a very late stage, but I wanted to believe that there was still hope of a slow, full recovery. I was holding onto that hope like holding onto a weak thread. To read that blog post and to absorb the meaning...it's just devastating. As I write, tears have started to run...again.

The last time I IM'd Lalo, we had agreed to meet again sometime in Inworldz. He has a new home there. He set it up a few months ago. It was still there when I logged in 1 or 2 weeks ago.

But now I am struggling to accept that I might never see Lalo inworld again, or even meet him in RL. We talked about meeting before. Looks like that will not happen now.

I enjoyed his company. We traded pictures, shopped for those fall trees he has out at West Harbour or was it his place in Inworldz? It seems like so long ago. He loved nature and he always knew how to make his home look cheerful and bright. He'd invite me over now and then. I made time  to see him, because I wanted to.

He introduced me to the Dropkick Murphys. Before that, I had only heard the name. I never cared much for them. But once I heard that steady drumbeat and those pipes, I became an instant fan. He's Irish. And I even asked him what his RL first name is. And I said something like, "Yeah, that's a very Irish name." He just grinned, I think.

He loved to ride on bicycle trails outdoors. But he hated carrying the bike up the stairs of his apartment, so it had been a few years since he had rode.

Lalo's place is peaceful and  relaxing. He has tatami mats, bonzai trees, even Japanese wall hangings in his inworld house. He is all about Zen and yet, you'd never guess if you talked to him. He's one of the most friendliest friends I have ever had and one of the most intelligent.

I miss spending time with him. I do a lot in SL, but I made time for him because I wanted to. If we didn't meet in SL, we might meet in Inworldz. We once spent a good several hours in Inworldz. That was a beautiful afternoon. An afternoon where we enjoyed the quiet and privacy of a parcel in Inworldz....no griefers or ranodom IMs from strangers.

Those moments I remember fondly.

After brinda died, I didn't think I could love again, but I did. Lalo let me into his life like brinda did and I can't tell you how honored I feel. I didn't know him for years and I don't know everything about him, but I feel that connection to him. I care about him.

Lalo, I'll never forget you. Thank you for the memories, the music, the laughs...thank you for being you....you cute kitteh!

Love always,

Tuesday, September 04, 2012

Remembering a dear, dear friend

I always remember old friends. They come and go. Some leave me with a bitter taste in my mouth and heart. Then there are others who fill me with hope and encouragement. Brinda was such a friend. She died last July, it's over a year now. It still feels like yesterday.

Anyway, today I took time to look at an old photo that she took of herself. She was a great photographer. She didn't need to edit her photos. I have no doubt though that if she did, she'd do a phenomenal job. Once she put her mind to something....it's done SO WELL. It's people like her that value hard work, patience, and practice.

So here's my photo of her. It's not much, but it's all I could  think to do. She loved India. Her religion was so important to her. It didn't wear her, she wore it...to use a cliche about clothing. Buddhism became her and she was stronger for it.

Every day I miss her. Every day I love her.

Unlike friends who left me because I don't stay in touch often enough (and they don't try to get in touch either), though she isn't in contact with me anymore, I can still feel her presence. Last week I met a guy who said he had been interested in Buddhism for awhile. For some reason after our first long talk I said to him before I logged, "namaste." I just knew. :-)

And so it goes,


Saturday, April 07, 2012

Endings and Beginnings

So many things have happened since I last wrote. It has been a whirlwind of activity and events. For instance, the death of Whitney Houston was such a shock for me and much of the world. Her voice was powerful, majestic, rich, and just so amazing. I love a lot of her songs and I even try singing them. I wish I could sing with such volume and power as she did. Compared to her, I think I sing like a mouse. LOL. There's just no comparison, her voice was special and extraordinary. I thought she'd live to 50 or 60 at least. Of course I have known about her drug addiction, but I did not realize it was so bad.

I unpartnered. Then I partnered and unpartnered again. Then I thought I wanted to spend my SL with a guy, but months later...it just didn't feel right. I wanted to believe it was something I really wanted and it would last a long time. But if something feels odd or forced, then it must be so.

I now write for 2 other magazines, BOSL and Virtual Music Magazine. It has been exciting and busy.

And everyday I think of my mentor and wish she would talk to me like she used to do. I'll never stop missing her. She changed me. I hope she's proud of me.