Thursday, July 21, 2011

Trying to let go

Does anyone ever want to let go? I know I don't ever want to, but sometimes not letting go can make me miserable. It can make anyone miserable.

There are things we all wish we could change or redo in our lives. Even now, we make mistakes and we keep making them. But I try not to blame myself so hard, that's just my response though. So much is expected of me and I feel the pressure. There are times when I feel like the son in my family. I also know that I need to be self sufficient and strong to face the world alone. I got to be yong gan...brave in Mandarin. I don't believe there will be someone to support me until much later. And frankly, I don't want just someone to feed me and shelter me. I will wait and learn how to be a truly strong woman. It's not just about thinking independent, being self-reliant is about being capable of providing for oneself without depending on others. That is my chief ambition in life. I don't want to be a burden to others.

Time keeps on flowing by like how a river flows downstream. No dam or person can stop the progression. If we could stop it, would we make some good changes or would those well-meant changes result in badness? There's a reason why we can't stop time and it is perhaps best that way. Human meddling can lead to tragedy, disaster, pain, not always....but it often does.

Someday, we all will let go of our pain and worry. I love how meditation basically is about letting the thoughts run through your mind, never dwelling too long on one. The goal in meditation is to clear the mind and just think of nothing. I wonder if someday I could accomplish that. Until then, I'll try to let the thoughts run through my mind for seconds and trying not to agonize over them.

Here's a song by an artist I remember from years ago, Elliot Yamin. His famous song was Wait For You.

And I believe
That breathing makes you free
And I believe
That love's our destiny
And I believe
In things I cannot see
Lyrics www.allthelyrics.com/lyrics/elliott_yamin/
Like faith and joy and peace and hope
And harmony

In my world we really aren't different
In your world we'll never be the same
I speak but you don't want to listen
It's easier to walk away

Slow down, wait another minute
Just once, let there be no blame
My world will always have you in it
That's one thing that time won't change

And you got to take that first hard step
There is a place and we're just not there yet

And here's a song from Billy Joel, another favorite singer of mine. Billy Joel is one of the most charismatic singers in history. I love his piano playing, his lyrics, and the melodies of his songs.

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