Sunday, May 22, 2011

A Sad mistake or a gift?

I'm so sad to admit I made a horrid mistake. On May 7th, I said yes to a guy friend who asked me to be his SL girlfriend. Until a few days ago I felt so happy, like nothing could get me down. But then, I found out from him that a "pretty good friend" spied on us and was jealous. And yesterday he called her a "semi-gf". Which is she? Changing his tune, is he? I can't tolerate that. I saw her profile and her group for her main avatar and it left me feeling disturbed. All I can say is that she's not my idea of a good friend, she just takes and won't give. The fact that he dated her for 2 months after only knowing her for a month, that struck a bad chord in me and I don't trust that he's really done with her. I feel like he became attached to her and still is. He said it's over with her, but I'm disappointed in him. I don't believe him anymore. So I told him that it's over between us.

The people I consider good friends wouldn't spy on me or try to grief me. She hasn't IM'ed me, but I think she's not done making trouble. She likes to play with emotions. He sim banned her, but it's not enough for me. I feel like I never really knew him.

My true friends know that often I prefer to be alone. And working in SL is one of the things I love most. I love walking in Benares and looking at top scripts or looking at the houses to get build ideas (I'm working on a chateau, btw). I love to preview and upload my poses. I have a client who wants me to make some groundsits for him and I even have 1 pose at my vendor that I can modify slightly. I saw him asking for help at one of my group chats, it was a lucky catch. I haven't had anyone asking me to do custom work. But he has decided to give me a chance and I intend to prove myself...that I can be good. I love exploring sims to write for magazines or a SL guide book. And I've made some great art contacts through my assignments and work.

I haven't had luck with SL relationships. I have tried and I thought I'd give this guy a chance, but now it's done. He had his chance and it didn't work. I don't want any drama and so it ends here. He will beg me to stay, but I'll stand firm and I won't change my mind. It will be tough, but this is what I need to do. If I don't stand firm, there will be more pain. I can feel it.

A great song I've always liked:
Matt Goss, End of the road

It's a song of endings and beginnings. There is always tomorrow, hope for a better day.

I'll be okay, but right now I just feel so disappointed. Yes, I got my feelers bent. I learn the hard way, but I can learn.

He and I talked and I realized that I was too hasty. It was like I expected that he would just let me go. But he has proven to me that I shouldn't dump him just because of one bad friend and he fought with my temper and won. He nearly deleted me, I am quite sure. But then I realized that I sounded like an idiot and he was really mad...madder than I had ever expected. He didn't want me to go. He felt like we deserved a chance to keep going. I realized that he wasn't the enemy. I was just looking for a way to run away. I got scared. He didn't have to fight with me. He could've ended the conversation but he kept on fighting me. I'm still surprised at that. So he and I are a couple still. We had a big fight, but now we understand each other. He's good for me, I am convinced now.


Brinda said...

Humans are among the myriad of creatures that learn from mistakes.

While there are success stories about relationships in Secondlife
{see Nepherses Amat}, I personaly have yet to see one. at least romantic ones

Anonymous said...

Following on from Brinda's comment, I have to admit I can only think of one relationship that really sparked..

Garth and Pituca Fairchang :)